- You Da Man
- Posts
- 🦬 The Trailhead
🦬 The Trailhead
If you’re reading this newsletter, then you don’t want the status quo. You don’t want normal. You want to be more than the world tells you you’re supposed to be.
Stetson Stallworth
July 05, 2024 • Reading Time:5 minutes
Too many men stop reinventing themselves when they hit their mid-to-late-twenties.
They stop growing; they stop dreaming; they stop setting and striving for big, hairy, audacious goals.
In other words, they let their internal flames of adventure and wilderness die until there’s nothing more than a smolder.
If that’s you, then keep reading, because today we’re going to talk about how to revive your wild - how to go from a smolder to a bonfire.
Let’s do it…
This is how it feels to come alive again
And start fighting back to gain control
And this is how it feels to let freedom in
And break the chains that enslave my soul
In the book, Wild at Heart, John Eldredge describes “the false self” as it relates to men and their masculinity.
Way too many of us (yes, us) have built up a false self, and it appears as either an overcompensation of stereotypical masculine traits or a complete disregard for the instinctive traits of man. This mask-of-sorts completely ignores and shutters in the face of the simple fact that…
You were uniquely created to be the man you were born to be - not some fabrication of what you think you should be; or what you think the world wants you to be (safer and “more normal”).
But here’s the thing…
Shedding your false self is painful. It’s an ugly process. It means doing unconventional things that are not normal, not appreciated, and often frowned upon. It’s going to require you to go against the status quo.
But here’s my guess…
If you’re reading this newsletter, then you don’t want the status quo. You don’t want normal. You want to be more than the world tells you you’re supposed to be.
The song “Steel Bars” by Andy Gullahorn describes this transformation well:
So this is how it feels at the rock bottom of despair
When the house I built comes crashing down
And this is how it feels when I know the man that I say I am
Is not the man that I am when no one’s around
Becoming the man you were meant to become isn’t going to be easy.
Growing and reinventing yourself past the age when you’re supposed to just conform and “play it safe” is a dangerous game.
But there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
In John Eldredge’s words, “This is not the end of the road; it’s the trailhead.”
The end of the song concludes:
This is how it feels to come alive again
And start fighting back to gain control
And this is how it feels to let freedom in
And break the chains that enslave my soul
Why you should care…
Here’s the kicker about the false self… You can only shed it once you truly identify it, and other’s see it much easier than we see it ourselves.
So here’s what I want you to do…
Ask a few people who are closest to you (spouse, friends, family, etc.) these three questions and listen to their responses…
What is my effect on you?
What am I like to live/work/spend time with?
What don’t you feel free to bring up with me?
If you give your people the reassurance that they can answer these questions freely, then my (and John Eldredge’s) guess is that you’ll be on the right path to identifying, losing, and burning your false self.
You’ve got this and I’m here for you!